happy hallow's eve!

hey y'all! i didn't mean to disappear on ya... just haven't had much to blog about!
so, last week i mentioned that i was going to try my hardest to do two-a-days on tuesday and thursday. well, tuesday morning rolled around and my alarm went off at 5:40 and i.... turned that bitch off without hesitation! i just CAN'T do it! i really physically can't! and i'm ok with that. but it just means i have to put in a few longer workouts at the gym to make up for it.

i did get my 3 "runs" in. if you can call them runs, ha! i restarted the c25k over, so its more of a jog/walk. but i'll get there! i also did step class on monday and body pump on thursday. this week i'm going to try to get in 4 runs, but my shins are still a little sore from last week, so hopefully they will hold up for me! i freaking hate shins! i'm hoping and praying that once i stick with running consistently the pain will go away. i've never stuck it out and kept it up so i'm thinking that may be the problem. i'm also going to work on strengthening my calves as i know that can be a problem. along with taking an aspirin before my run, stretching a lot better before and after, and icing those babies up post-run. hopefully it will go away within the month. i just gotta stick it out!!

last week i ate very good and stuck to my diet about 90%! on tuesday i went over to heather's with our friend amanda for a girls night. so besides the few glasses of wine i had there, and the pack of skittles i brought over, i was a very good girl. and because of that, i lost another 2 lbs! woohoo! so that's a total of 4 lbs in 2 weeks! i'm hoping to be down another 2 lbs by this weeks weigh-in. i know those 2 lbs will starting dropping to 1 soon enough, but i hope not too soon!

xxoo

last week's weigh-in & weekend recap

hello ladies! hope everyone had a fab weekend!
last friday was weigh-in day... i lost about 2 lbs. i was ok with this for a few different reasons.... the 1st being that i didn't workout much at all. so i wasn't expecting a big loss. the 2nd reason being that i ate a slice of cake thursday at work... and then again that night. and i also had a heavier dinner thursday. sooo 2 lbs wasn't looking that bad to me! i didn't weigh-in this morning but im certain those 2 lbs are back!  here's why:

friday night the babe and i went to chili's. i ordered the "lighter santa fe wrap" with corn on the cob. i only had a few bites of the corn but ate the whole wrap. i just checked the calories for the wrap on chili's website.... 560 calories! yiiiikes. chili's is definitely one of the worse places to eat on a diet. but it's one of our favs! saturday morning we woke up bright and early to head out to the susan komen 5k in new orleans. my shins were super sore friday night and i was worried i wouldn't be able to run. well when i woke up that morning they were still hurting pretty bad. i decided to sit out and wait for everyone to finish. i know that if i would have ran, not only would it have taken me forever because i couldn't even walk fast, but they would be even worse after! and we still had the rest of the day to walk around and hang out! everyone did great! i'm so proud of my friends :) we hung around for a little bit and enjoyed the free beer.

then we headed to one of our favorite spots in the city, the rum house. seriously, if you are in the area you HAVE to try it. you will not be sorry. while there i had 2 yummy fruity rum drinks (1 billion calories each im sure) and some delicious tacos. the majority of the group headed home after lunch, and it was just mike & i and heather and her husband. we walked down to a bar for the boys could finish up the lsu game. then headed home.

once we got home we took a quick nap! it was so glorious :) i woke up and went to pick up dinner. my office bought fundraiser tickets for steak dinners and gave me a couple on friday. it was perfect as i knew i wouldn't want to cook that night! steak, cheesy potatoes, smothered green beans & texas toast! yea, my mouth is watering right now. it was delicious and i ate every bite of it. so that my friends is why i know for sure those 2 lbs are back!

yesterday was spent grocery shopping, cleaning and catching up on the dvr. this week i plan on joining elle noel on her two-a-days on tuesday and thursday. y'all.... this is gonna be really really hard for me. i am not a morning person at all. at all! i'm very much a night owl and go to bed around midnight on work nights. i'll definitely be taking some melatonin tonight and hopefully getting in bed for 10! i'll let ya know how it goes! here is my workout schedule for the week:

monday-
60 minute step class
20 minute on the elliptical

tuesday-
am: 30 min jog
pm: 60 min body pump class

wednesday-
60 min spin class

thursday-
am: 30 min jog
pm: 60 min body pump

friday-
60 min on the elliptical

saturday-
45 min barre class
30 min jog

sunday-
REST


here's to hoping i can stick with this! it's definitely going to be hard!

xxoo

tattoo link up (better late than never!)

good morning everyone! i was sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee and decided that i wanted to link up with mel and her lets talk tattoos tuesday link up. i personally love love love tattoos and have 4. i don't even really know what i like so much about them but i've been obsessed since i was about 16. its just such a great form of expression to me and they are so beautiful. not all of them of course, there are definitely some shitty ass work out there! (you should follow @failed_tattooz on instagram for daily laughs) but with the right idea and a good artist you can get something really beautiful! the link up has been closed but i can still share my tattoo stories!

i was 17 when i got my first one and my mom took me to get it :) i knew i wanted a V on my foot but i wasn't planning on the little stars. the artist suggested those and i'm so glad he did! a V by itsself sure would look silly. i don't remember the pain of this one now but i'm sure it hurt. i have had to tell a handful of people what it is and what it means because they cant make it out. its a V for Victoria in case you are one of those people :) i still like this tattoo but kind of wish i wouldn't have gotten it here. only because i want something bigger on my foot now. i have thought about covering it a few times and i probably will. stay tuned!

the color is supposed to be pink. guess i need a touch up!

my 2nd i got when i was 18. i had always wanted something on the back of my neck and i had always wanted my horoscope symbol (virgo) somewhere so i figured why not here!? i don't remember this one hurting too bad. i definitely get asked what this is a lot. and i don't regret this one at all.

my 3rd was done when i was 20 or 21. me and mike decided we wanted to get matching tattoos. something small that meant something to us. we went over to a friend's sister's house that was working from her "home shop" (mistake #1) we were going to get a black heart on our wrists but when we got there mike decided just a heart was a little too girly for him. he started suggesting we get a heartagram. (the symbol stands for the perfect balance between life and death, love and hatred & good and evil) we both really liked this symbol and meaning but i was a little skeptical of getting it tattooed on me. (mistake # 2) all of our friends that were there thought it was a cool idea sooo i went with it. it definitely did hurt but not unbearable. and i definitely regret this one. the first reason being how shitty of a job she did! mike's isn't nearly as bad for some reason but definitely not perfect. i get asked a LOT what this is as people think its a pentagram. i try to keep it covered most of the time because i don't want to talk about it. i hate explaining what it is and i hate how shitty it looks! i've mentioned to mike numerous times that we should both get it covered up with something else that matches but he wants to keep his. i'm not giving up on this though!

my 4th one was done this past january at the age of 25 and is another matching tattoo with one of my best friends tiffini. the decision to get this and actually getting it all happened within about 8 hours! we were texting while i was at work and i said "we should get matching cupcake tattoos one day" she replied with "YES! LETS GO TONIGHT!!!" definitely not what i was expecting but OK! we threw a few different ideas around but ultimately stuck with the cupcake. going into this one i was a nervous nelly! my last one was at least 5 years prior and i forgot what it was like! i made her go first of course, hehe. it definitely hurt but again, wasn't unbearable. i don't regret this one at all! its my favorite :) i do wish the color was a little more vibrant but i plan to get it touched up one day soon.

i definitely want to get more. lots more! i'd really like to have a 1/2 sleeve on my left forearm (around my cupcake) but unless i want to wear long sleeves everyday to work, it isnt going to happen anytime soon. i have a long list going of work i'd like to get done. the 4 i have now are all small, so i'd like to get a bigger piece next. a few i knew for sure that i want are a sugar skull, (represents the mexican holiday the day of the dead) a skeleton key and a cameo. i just don't know the placement of these yet! hopefully i'll be adding one of these very soon.

sorry this was so long! hope you enjoyed my tattoo stories! :)
xxoo

5k talk & a recipe

hello friends! hope everyone is having a good hump day. just wanted to fill you in on a little update. so far this week i've been doing very well with my eating. i've stuck to my daily menus and i'm feeling good! today i'm going to go on a 5k jog to see how long it will take me. saturday heather and i along with some of our friends are doing the susan komen race for a cure 5k in new orleans! i'm really excited and REALLY nervous! i did my first 5k back in april (you can read about it in heather's post) and had only trained for about 2 weeks prior. obviously i knew i wasn't going to run the whole damn thing. but i got out there and did my best, and finished in 46 minutes. (i was shooting for 45 so i was pretty happy!) i pretty much stopped running after that and never continued with the c25k training i was doing. fast forward to julyish... heather mentioned to me that her company was sponsoring the race for a cure and putting together a team. she asked if i wanted to join and i said of course! i would finally start training again! this was something to look forward to and snap me back into running. because i would HAVE to train for it right!?....
welllll i havent. at all! the first week of september i restarted c25k and boy was it HARD! and then guess what happened after that? i didn't run again for about 2 weeks.(!!) i ran mayyybe 2 times then went another week without. so, as you can guess.... i'm in no shape to run a 5k. no one to be mad at but myself! i guess i'll shoot for 50 minutes this time? i'm pretty damn disappointed in myself for not sticking to it back in april. but whats done is done. and i'm not stopping this time! i'm planning on running the middendorf's annual 5k on novemeber 17th and i'd like to improve my time a good bit by then!

ok, i have a very yummy and simple recipe for y'all! i ate this monday and tuesday for lunch. i threw it together a few weeks ago and i'm now hooked!

spicy tuna lettuce wraps:

1 package of chunk light tuna (i like to use the starkist 80 calorie pouch packs)
1/4 cubed avocado
2 tbsp sriracha sauce
chopped purple onion
lime juice (enough to add flavor, don't want it too mushy)
salt to taste
butter lettuce leaves (comes as a head of lettuce in a plastic container)

mix all ingredients. distribute evenly into 3-4 lettuce leaves and enjoy! sooo good and simple simple simple! it's around 170 calories, perfect for a light lunch! let me know if you try it!

weekend wrap-up & goals

good morning friends! hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. mine was pretty busy! friday night we had mike's brother, sister-in-law and kids over for dinner and games. we had bbq chicken breasts wrapped in bacon (omg!) grilled corn on the cob, cajun sausage and smothered yellow & zucchini squash. everything was so yummy! we played a couple of games before they had to head home to put the boys to bed. saturday night was my 3rd cousins wedding in harahan (about an hr drive) so we headed that way when the babe got home from work. we didn't stay long and ended up popping into a local bar when we got back into town to meet up with a couple of friends. it was a very fun & unexpected night! sunday i went over to my friend tiffini's house to help her host her mom's bridal shower. y'all, why is shower food so good? and how is it possible to eat 1,000 of those little tiny sandwiches!? those things are so addicting, i cant ever just have a couple!

before heading out to the wedding saturday night

so as you can tell, i did not eat good this weekend. i knew i really wouldn't be able to and that it would be especially hard at the shower, so i let myself have "1 last meal" before i committed to making changes. starting today im going to start putting 110% into getting in shape. there is no more time for excuses! im 26 years old and it is just going to get harder to lose weight the closer i get to 30. (cannot believe that is in 4 short years! AHHHH!) i know that it is SO hard to have a social life and lose weight. this is the thing i struggle with the most. i cant just sit around while everyone else has beers and cocktails and be sober sally. so i really have to be strict throughout the week and NEVER miss a workout. i also need to plan a lot better for the weekends. if i know we are going out with friends on saturday night then i need to start getting in a hard core workout that morning. and of course limit myself on the # of drinks i have that night. i have to really start thinking about the repercussions before i cheat or skip a workout. i cant forget about the bigger picture!

so like i said in my last post, my first goal is to lose 15 lbs by january 1st. i'd really love to lose 20 by then but with the holidays coming up i know im going to have lots of slip ups. im going to stick to 1200 calories a day (i use my fitness pal to track. you can add me if you like! username is darlingvictoria). my workout goal is to workout 6 days a week. im still trying to figure out exactly what i want to do on what day, but i definitely need to stick to 6 days with sundays being my rest day. i'm going to do a weekly weigh-in here on my blog on friday mornings so y'all will know how im doing. so here goes nothing! i'd really love any kind of encouragement, motivation or tips you'd like to leave me!

xxoo

my big fat "fat" story

i didnt grow up in a healthy eating household. my mom very rarely cooked and when she did it was something bad. we had takeout almost everyday of the week. chinese, popeyes chicken, mcdonalds... we had it all. my parents split up when i was 8 years old. i dont really remember how i felt about food before that. i was a kid, i ate when i was hungry and then ran off those calories outside. it never was really an issue. looking back at pictures, i was an average sized child. when my parents split up, we moved an hour away to my grandparents house. thats where the problem began. living with a full blooded italian grandmaw. but man did i enjoy it! what is it about grandparents? they always want you to eat, eat, eat! (still to this day, when i visit her she trys to give me everything in her fridge.)

since then i've always been the bigger girl. (15-20 lbs overweight) in middle school i was a size 8 while all the other girls were a 2. i've never been tiny. in high school i was again the bigger girl. of course i dont mean the biggest girl in the room, but i've always been bigger than the majority of my friends. i never really got picked on for my size, which im very thankful for of course. (but maybe if i had, i would have done something about it back then. probably not.) high school is where i really started feeling down on myself. i definitely was not happy with my body and often compared myself to others. when my high school boyfriend and i broke up the first time i was heartbroken. i barely ate anything and even went through a little stage of bulimia. we got back together for awhile but ended things for good shortly after. this breakup was not like the last, i definitely ate my feelings this time. i gained the 15 lbs back that i had lost the first time. a few months later i started seeing a new guy and gained another 15 lbs in happy relationship weight. we dated for over 2 years and during that time i gained another 10-15 lbs while working at a pizza place. at this time i was the biggest i had ever been. close to 170 (i'm 5ft). me and that boyfriend eventually broke up and i had lost a little bit of weight, maybe 10 lbs. i was 18 years old and started going out every night and drinking, eating fast food at 2am and sleeping all day. doing no physical activity what so ever.  i dont know how i didnt blow up this time around! i even managed to lose a little bit, about 10 lbs. this is around the time i met mike. i was smitten :) i was really in love with him from very early on and we were happy. but we had a very very rocky relationship in the beginning. we broke up around 5-6 times in the first 2 years. so as you can imagine, my weight went up and down as did our roller coaster relationship. we've been together for over 7 years now (march will make 8) and im now 26.

 over the course of ages 18-26 i have tried pretty much every diet out there. adkins, southbeach, weight watchers, 17 day diet and diet pills. the last time we broke up which was early 2007 i got down to my lowest adult weight, 138, by using diet pills and working out a couple times a week. i was finally feeling good about myself! i wanted to lose a little bit more, maybe 10-15 lbs but i was really happy. well we ended up reuniting and so did my weight and i. in early 2009 me and mike along with 2 of our friends booked a cruise. my friend tiffini is petitie and i didnt not want to be standing next to that skinny bitch in a bikini! from march-may of that year i lost 20 lbs with the help of diet pills (phentermine). then we went on the cruise and ate and drank for 7 days straight. once we got back i kept most of it off but by the end of the year i was back up to 160 again. between then and now i've lost and gained the same 10 lbs over and over again. in novemeber of last year i did the 17 day diet. i have to say, this is a really great diet. i lost 13 lbs (the healthy way for a change!) in about 4 weeks. i was feeling good again! i had about 15 more lbs i wanted to lose until i could feel comfortable and confident. but thanksgiving came.... and then christmas... you get the hint. holiday food!  i gained that weight back.

so here i am. 26 years old. fat & unhappy. i really want and NEED to do something for good this time. i want to be fit, healthy & happy. i want to give mike the hot girlfriend he deserves. i want to feel good about myself and be able to wear the clothes i want. i want to be the fit girl and not the big girl! i need help. i need encouragement. i NEED CHANGE. i need to make this lifestyle change and keep it off for good. i cant be unhappy and unhealthy another day. according to my bmi i am considered obese. i'd like to lose a total of 30 lbs. i'd have to lose almost 20 lbs to be in the overweight category and 40 lbs to be in the normal category. but its not really about the number to me. my first goal is 15 lbs by january 1st (trying to be realistic with the holidays coming up).
so, here we go again.....

still there?

hi friends! soooo, i fell off the ole blogging horse again. i've been missing it though! so i'll give it another shot :) thanks for sticking around! hopefully i can keep up with it this time. i want to focus mainly on weight loss. i'm hoping that encouraging followers and comments will keep me going and hold me accountable. be back soon :)