tattoo link up (better late than never!)

good morning everyone! i was sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee and decided that i wanted to link up with mel and her lets talk tattoos tuesday link up. i personally love love love tattoos and have 4. i don't even really know what i like so much about them but i've been obsessed since i was about 16. its just such a great form of expression to me and they are so beautiful. not all of them of course, there are definitely some shitty ass work out there! (you should follow @failed_tattooz on instagram for daily laughs) but with the right idea and a good artist you can get something really beautiful! the link up has been closed but i can still share my tattoo stories!

i was 17 when i got my first one and my mom took me to get it :) i knew i wanted a V on my foot but i wasn't planning on the little stars. the artist suggested those and i'm so glad he did! a V by itsself sure would look silly. i don't remember the pain of this one now but i'm sure it hurt. i have had to tell a handful of people what it is and what it means because they cant make it out. its a V for Victoria in case you are one of those people :) i still like this tattoo but kind of wish i wouldn't have gotten it here. only because i want something bigger on my foot now. i have thought about covering it a few times and i probably will. stay tuned!

the color is supposed to be pink. guess i need a touch up!

my 2nd i got when i was 18. i had always wanted something on the back of my neck and i had always wanted my horoscope symbol (virgo) somewhere so i figured why not here!? i don't remember this one hurting too bad. i definitely get asked what this is a lot. and i don't regret this one at all.

my 3rd was done when i was 20 or 21. me and mike decided we wanted to get matching tattoos. something small that meant something to us. we went over to a friend's sister's house that was working from her "home shop" (mistake #1) we were going to get a black heart on our wrists but when we got there mike decided just a heart was a little too girly for him. he started suggesting we get a heartagram. (the symbol stands for the perfect balance between life and death, love and hatred & good and evil) we both really liked this symbol and meaning but i was a little skeptical of getting it tattooed on me. (mistake # 2) all of our friends that were there thought it was a cool idea sooo i went with it. it definitely did hurt but not unbearable. and i definitely regret this one. the first reason being how shitty of a job she did! mike's isn't nearly as bad for some reason but definitely not perfect. i get asked a LOT what this is as people think its a pentagram. i try to keep it covered most of the time because i don't want to talk about it. i hate explaining what it is and i hate how shitty it looks! i've mentioned to mike numerous times that we should both get it covered up with something else that matches but he wants to keep his. i'm not giving up on this though!

my 4th one was done this past january at the age of 25 and is another matching tattoo with one of my best friends tiffini. the decision to get this and actually getting it all happened within about 8 hours! we were texting while i was at work and i said "we should get matching cupcake tattoos one day" she replied with "YES! LETS GO TONIGHT!!!" definitely not what i was expecting but OK! we threw a few different ideas around but ultimately stuck with the cupcake. going into this one i was a nervous nelly! my last one was at least 5 years prior and i forgot what it was like! i made her go first of course, hehe. it definitely hurt but again, wasn't unbearable. i don't regret this one at all! its my favorite :) i do wish the color was a little more vibrant but i plan to get it touched up one day soon.

i definitely want to get more. lots more! i'd really like to have a 1/2 sleeve on my left forearm (around my cupcake) but unless i want to wear long sleeves everyday to work, it isnt going to happen anytime soon. i have a long list going of work i'd like to get done. the 4 i have now are all small, so i'd like to get a bigger piece next. a few i knew for sure that i want are a sugar skull, (represents the mexican holiday the day of the dead) a skeleton key and a cameo. i just don't know the placement of these yet! hopefully i'll be adding one of these very soon.

sorry this was so long! hope you enjoyed my tattoo stories! :)
xxoo

my big fat "fat" story

i didnt grow up in a healthy eating household. my mom very rarely cooked and when she did it was something bad. we had takeout almost everyday of the week. chinese, popeyes chicken, mcdonalds... we had it all. my parents split up when i was 8 years old. i dont really remember how i felt about food before that. i was a kid, i ate when i was hungry and then ran off those calories outside. it never was really an issue. looking back at pictures, i was an average sized child. when my parents split up, we moved an hour away to my grandparents house. thats where the problem began. living with a full blooded italian grandmaw. but man did i enjoy it! what is it about grandparents? they always want you to eat, eat, eat! (still to this day, when i visit her she trys to give me everything in her fridge.)

since then i've always been the bigger girl. (15-20 lbs overweight) in middle school i was a size 8 while all the other girls were a 2. i've never been tiny. in high school i was again the bigger girl. of course i dont mean the biggest girl in the room, but i've always been bigger than the majority of my friends. i never really got picked on for my size, which im very thankful for of course. (but maybe if i had, i would have done something about it back then. probably not.) high school is where i really started feeling down on myself. i definitely was not happy with my body and often compared myself to others. when my high school boyfriend and i broke up the first time i was heartbroken. i barely ate anything and even went through a little stage of bulimia. we got back together for awhile but ended things for good shortly after. this breakup was not like the last, i definitely ate my feelings this time. i gained the 15 lbs back that i had lost the first time. a few months later i started seeing a new guy and gained another 15 lbs in happy relationship weight. we dated for over 2 years and during that time i gained another 10-15 lbs while working at a pizza place. at this time i was the biggest i had ever been. close to 170 (i'm 5ft). me and that boyfriend eventually broke up and i had lost a little bit of weight, maybe 10 lbs. i was 18 years old and started going out every night and drinking, eating fast food at 2am and sleeping all day. doing no physical activity what so ever.  i dont know how i didnt blow up this time around! i even managed to lose a little bit, about 10 lbs. this is around the time i met mike. i was smitten :) i was really in love with him from very early on and we were happy. but we had a very very rocky relationship in the beginning. we broke up around 5-6 times in the first 2 years. so as you can imagine, my weight went up and down as did our roller coaster relationship. we've been together for over 7 years now (march will make 8) and im now 26.

 over the course of ages 18-26 i have tried pretty much every diet out there. adkins, southbeach, weight watchers, 17 day diet and diet pills. the last time we broke up which was early 2007 i got down to my lowest adult weight, 138, by using diet pills and working out a couple times a week. i was finally feeling good about myself! i wanted to lose a little bit more, maybe 10-15 lbs but i was really happy. well we ended up reuniting and so did my weight and i. in early 2009 me and mike along with 2 of our friends booked a cruise. my friend tiffini is petitie and i didnt not want to be standing next to that skinny bitch in a bikini! from march-may of that year i lost 20 lbs with the help of diet pills (phentermine). then we went on the cruise and ate and drank for 7 days straight. once we got back i kept most of it off but by the end of the year i was back up to 160 again. between then and now i've lost and gained the same 10 lbs over and over again. in novemeber of last year i did the 17 day diet. i have to say, this is a really great diet. i lost 13 lbs (the healthy way for a change!) in about 4 weeks. i was feeling good again! i had about 15 more lbs i wanted to lose until i could feel comfortable and confident. but thanksgiving came.... and then christmas... you get the hint. holiday food!  i gained that weight back.

so here i am. 26 years old. fat & unhappy. i really want and NEED to do something for good this time. i want to be fit, healthy & happy. i want to give mike the hot girlfriend he deserves. i want to feel good about myself and be able to wear the clothes i want. i want to be the fit girl and not the big girl! i need help. i need encouragement. i NEED CHANGE. i need to make this lifestyle change and keep it off for good. i cant be unhappy and unhealthy another day. according to my bmi i am considered obese. i'd like to lose a total of 30 lbs. i'd have to lose almost 20 lbs to be in the overweight category and 40 lbs to be in the normal category. but its not really about the number to me. my first goal is 15 lbs by january 1st (trying to be realistic with the holidays coming up).
so, here we go again.....

summer 2011 goals

after seeing danielle's post, i decided to compile my own list of summer goals. especially since i forgot to post my april goal list >.<

1. RELAX! no matter how much time i spend on the couch over the weekends, sometimes it just doesnt feel relaxing enough. i need to find a pool and dip my feet in while reading a book. oh, with a cold beverage in my hand. now that is what i call relaxing!

2. speaking of books, im going to take a cue from danielle and make a summer reading list. im bad about checking books out at the library and not touching them for the first 2 weeks! so i think 3 books between may-aug is doable for me.

3. do more activities outside. this is a tough one as it usually gets up to the 100's in july & august so i dont now how much i can handle. but even if its sitting on my patio with a glass of wine and laptop, that should work.

4. take a stab at playing tennis. we have a tennis court at our gym and i have been wanting to play for years! maybe this is my year?!

5. eat healthier, but still enjoy myself! this is also a tough one... i seem to always have a hard time finding a balance between the two. i believe im getting a little better at it.

6. take as many getaways as possible! we have a beach trip planned for august but im hoping to take a few "day-cations" here and there with my babe.

7. finish decorating the house. we have FINALLY decided on all the decor we want so now its on to finding said decor! mike is also turning our computer room into a man-cave... fine with me, i get to do anything to the rest of the house in return! :D

8. spend more time with my niece & nephew. i dont get to see them as often as i would like to. im hoping to take a day off during the week every now and then and have a sleep over with them.

9. get to my 1st weight loss goal. im still not there! 2 steps forward and 5 steps back, always! its getting frustrating but its nobody's fault but my own. i will not give up!

10. more date nights. me and mike came up with an idea... every month we will take turns planning 1 date night each. it can be anything! a surprise movie trip, cooking dinner at home, picnic in the park or even a surprise shopping trip! obviously that would be fun for only me :) we just spend too much time at home in front the tv so i want to add a little "courtshipping" to our relationship!

well friends there you have it. i think this list is pretty doable! leave a link to your blog if you post your own summer goals :)
xxoo

abc's of me

source

hi y'all! i thought this was a cute idea after seeing it on shawni's blog

A. Age: 24

B. Bed size: stupid full- not happy with that current situation

C. Chore you hate: dishes & mopping

D. Dogs: my dogter coco

E. Essential start to your day: protein shake

F. Favorite color: its always changing... purple, gray, turquoise....

G. Gold or silver: silverrr

H. Height: 5'0 maybe a smidge shorter

I. Instruments you play: ive owned a guitar for 10 yrs... never learned to play!

J. Job title: receptionist @ a law firm

K. Kids: none yet... i do have the baby fever though!

L. Live: albany, la

M. Mom’s name: paula

N. Nicknames: tori, tortellini, torito, toe ring, toedoe

O. Overnight hospital stays: thankfully have never had to have one!

P. Pet peeve: people biting their nails. was never a problem until i met mike!

Q. Quote from a movie/show: ow! i burnt my ladyfinger's! (modern family)

R. Righty or Lefty: righty tighty

S. Siblings: older sis, we're 8 years part

T. Time you wake up: 7:15 for work. as late as possible on weekends :)

U. Underwear: thongs and bikinis mostly

V. Vegetables you dislike: hmmm i guess asparagus

W. What makes you run late: the fact that i get up at the last possible second

X. X-rays you’ve had: teeth. and arm, i broke it ab 17 years ago.

Y. Yummy food you make: homemade spaghetti and meatballs. white beans with pork roast and sausage.

Z. Zoo animal favorite: i like monkeys :)

now you know my abc's :)
xxoo